So we’ve just learnt of the possibility of the worst forecast to suit our Class 40 boat.

Currently sitting in breeze coming from exactly where we went to get to means we have to try and make this thing go upwind. With wind speed of around 7 knots and true wind angle of 55 degrees we seem to be sailing away from our destination! Karma for our storming session on Tuesday some might say?!

We have resorted to some strong bartering to avoid watches – after the recent loss of his Seal Skinz socks which caused Sam a lot of distress – Tom Smedley has offered to give him a fresh pair of his in exchange for Sam covering his next day worth of watches - there is literally nothing rewarding about our current situation.

Sam is currently mulling this idea over, we will update on the outcome soon.

We are also bartering for the first use of the morphine within our medical pack to knock us out for the next 5 days – I personally have 2 brand new pairs of Seal Skinz socks, 3 pairs of fresh pants, 2 clean quick dry t-shirts and a dry set of MPX hi fits to add to the mix – I think I’m a strong contender.

Tom Dawson has a pretty damp set of Goretex midlayer hi fits to add to the mix, only worn for 2 hours windstopper, midlayer hi fits, a pair of flip flops and a North Sails belt.

Ned is offering all round hair dressing to the lads on board – having been on the sharp end of one of these already I would suggest that he is furthest away the morphine euphoria that we are all craving, as my hair looks terrible...cheers Ned.

Luke has a balaclava, a fresh t-shirt and continuing bad news about the forecast (being the navigator after all). I think Luke will be spending a lot of time in reality over the next 5 days after this measly offering.

Sam has 1 stolen hotel towel, 1 lightly used sou’wester, unbelievable whining about his Seal Skinz socks, a beard trimmer, 3 pairs of running socks, some +8 aka jam jar bottomed glasses and a Barclays internet banking card reader – I vote we give Sam the morphine and get his PIN number out of him so we can all get home to some cash!

Tom Smedley, our onboard doctor has 1 pair of ‘cotton kills’ boxer shorts to offer, knowledge of IV access and correct morphine dosage to get each of us high for a while – Smedley wins.

Anyway, got to get back to the depressing sounds of silence as Simon & Garfunkel sang.

Peace – Tristan ‘Jakey’ Jaques





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